Defining the Relationship & Early Marital Adjustments

October 26th - 31st, 2015

There are four specific classifications of relationships:

1. Dating
2. Courtship
3. Engagement
4. Marriage

Dating- This type of relationship is many not focused on a specific person. Dating contains a wide variety of people with minimal commitment such as: planning, paying, and pairing off for a short period of time. Going on dates is a great way to learn not only about other people, but about yourself. By interacting with other people and taking responsibility, opportunities for personality and social growth become available. Dating is a truly inspired concept!

Courtship- After consistently going on dates with a select person, you become more exclusive. With this exclusivity comes a higher level of commitment and loyalty. Courtship can be broken down to "court" or a "trial", this is an opportunity to develop boundaries and learn what types of qualities or morals you might prefer in your future home and family. It is important to define your relationships.

Engagement- A much higher standard of commitment. The engagement is an irreplaceable opportunity to work with your significant other. Opportunity to compromise and adjust with fiancé. When thinking of a reception, use the terms, "Royalty vs. real". It is important to make decisions together and wisely. [when, where, how, & how much]

Marriage- "Don't try to find yourself- create yourself". Prepare to work together and with God- marriage is a contract, but more importantly a covenant.

As I talked about previously, men are more task oriented and women are relationship oriented. In class, we discussed three different stages following marriage: 1st month, 1st year, and childbirth.

First month- This first month of marriage includes experiences such as:

•  marital intimacy
• making decisions
• décor
• Scale of 1-10 how important is it to both of you?
• sharing a bed
• sharing a bathroom
• finances
• food
• priorities
• temperature
• chores
• household
• dishwasher
• linen/folding/putting away
• scheduling
• time management
• understanding
• accommodations

First year- After a year of marriage, couples encounter:

• traditions
• holidays
• décor
• medical issues
• extended families
• boundaries
• building own support system
• financial problems
• when and how to have children

Childbirth-

• how many children
• making time for each other
• redistributing responsibilities
• demonstrating thankfulness
• involving husband in pregnancy and birth
• couples relationships often suffer the most after the birth of their first child
• divorce is most likely to occur between the 2nd and 5th years of marriage
• the best family memories happen intentionally