Seeking Intimate Relationships & Defining Love

          What goes through our minds as we are looking for a potential boyfriend or girlfriend? What key qualities or important factors stand out to us? To begin class, we analyzed criteria people have for dating candidates:

1. Intelligence/education
2. Personal Traits
3. Physical Appearance
4. Lifestyle
5. Personal Relationships
6. Sexual looks/ Behavior
7. Age
8. Financial Status

          The Chapter, "Hanging Out, Hooking Up, and Marriage" in the Family Relations book cautions about the "Glass Slipper" approach. This technique suggests two parts:

• Looking for a perfect fit in a match
• Waiting for your potential match to come to you (no initiation on your behalf)

          The chapter addresses the myth of "opposites attract", and states that we are actually more likely to naturally start dating people who has similar attitudes, values, and personalities. The mannerisms that are familiar to us create "propinquity". This term means a nearness in space. Additional connections people have to one another are founded on: spirituality, location, IQ, values, appearance, and how accessible they are.
 
Another phenomena is the "know- quo" or three T's. These are different, necessary theories that help to recognize when a couple should be ready to take more serious steps. Analyze these T's to better know your relationship:
1) Time
2) Talk
3) Togetherness
 
We also discussed the inspired concept of "dating". Connecting the three duties of a father to the duties of a man on dates. Provide, protect, and preside to the qualities of a date- planned, paid for, and paid off. Each of these connect so well. Men exercise their protective and responsible instincts when taking a young lady on a date, just as she must nurture and encourage her date in return. The nurturing characteristic of of women is also a part of her calling as a mother.
 
We often describe our feelings for people as "indescribable", but how does that make sense?  What, really, is love? The chapter describes four types of love:
 
1. Storge(store - gay)
        ~parent to child love
               -protect, care, do more than for other, and unconditional
2. Philia(fill- ee - ah)
        ~friendship(warm and close) also, brotherly love
                -sharing, affection, commitment, intimate
3. Eros(air - os)
        ~man and woman
                 -physically(longing for just one person), longing to be close, thoughts of person
4. Agape(a - gah - pay)
         ~independent feelings
                 -act on behalf of the well- being of someone else, whether you like it or not, charity
 
Qualities of Friendship:
 
1. Enjoy being with each other most of the time.
2. Accept each other as they are.
3. Trust each other to act out of concern for the other's best interest
4. Respect the judgments, of each other.
5. Help and support each other.
6. Share experiences and feelings.
7. Understanding each other's feelings and thoughts
8. Based on openness and honesty