Communication & Decision Making (Chapter 9)

Are we sometimes "speaking another language"?

My professor started the class with three questions on the board. However,they were very difficult to answer, the questions were in Danish. I don't know about you, but I don't speak Danish.
This activity was used to emphasize that sometimes we are not all on the same page! When addressing the topic of language, there are three parts to communication we use:

1. Words
2. Tone
3. Non-verbal

Surprisingly, the words we say only communicate about 14% of our message to others. Our tone indicates about 35%, and the non-verbal, or more visual parts, communicate 51% of our conversations. This means that about 86% of our discussions with others is defined by our tone and non-verbal behavior. My teacher wisely concludes, "Everything that we do- not just when we are trying to communicate, but everything we do, sends a message." 

In order to better understand others, we must go through a type of "decoding" process. Our thoughts are feelings are spoken, encoded with our intentions, reach a medium, and must be decoded, then the receptor will have their own thoughts and reflections. A few great solutions to miscommunication and misinterpretations are: 

• Be Clear!
• Check Understanding!
• "First seek to understand, then to be understood"
• Communication Depth
• Give the benefit of the doubt
• Awareness

When making decisions, people often utilize their power. In families, power is the ability to influence another. There are several types of power:

• Coercive- Power by punishment (ex: withholding love, types of abuse, etc.)
• Reward- Used to obtain rewards from spouse
• Legitimate- Spouse has the right to ask
• Expert- Spouse has specific knowledge 
• Referent- Reverence/Revere because of love
• Informational- Having information or background to explain

While addressing the subject of power, it is most important to "beware of manipulation". 

We also discussed and analyzed M. Russell Ballard's inspiring book, "Counseling with our Council".

Reactive vs.Proactive. The book lists the steps to an effective meeting: 

1. Express love & appreciation
2. Pray- invite God's influence
3. Discuss to Consensus
4. RE: Lord's will
5. End with prayer

The brethren meet once a week and in a sacred place, we too can council like this with others and simply with our Father in Heaven.

A question to ask yourself is, "What kinds of things do you want inspiration on?"