Parenting & Discipline

What are the benefits of parents raising their children?
For the parents

• Learn
• Grow
• w/ child via needs
• Better Understand Self
• Bonding/ Attachment
• Adaptive
• Commitment

For the child

• More in Common
• Accepting
• Longevity
• Deeper Love
• Better Disciplined (more effective)
• Compassion

My teacher told us something very wise, "children are learning EVERYDAY". He also discussed the purposes of raising children: 1. Preparing them to survive and thrive in the world and 2. To protect them. There is a definite difference in discipline vs. punishment. When talking about discipline, it is important to link it to choice and consequences. Through this accountability, children gain the ability to respond to situations. Punishments can be more focused on negatively reacting to the mistakes kids make versus how to grow from them. Also, sometimes it is important for parents to allow "Natural consequences" happen to their children. Natural consequences can be very beneficial; however, here are three examples of when parents should intervene:

1. It is too dangerous- child would be unsafe
2. "Too Future"- allowing child to make decisions that aren't completely life forming or changing
3. Others are affected

Effective parent behavior towards children includes:

•  A polite and sincere request
• An "I" statement
• "When you..."
• "I feel..."
• "because..."
• "I would like..."
• A firmer statement (create understanding& turning situation around)

One of the most important things I learned from this chapter was that children and everyone need two things... Contact and Belonging. Any lack of these two things for a child within the home or in general could result in a mistaken approach to receive these:

• Undue attention seeking
• Revenge seeking
• Rebellion
• Undue risk taking
• Undue avoidance

It is so important to teach children assertiveness and forgiveness in the home, so that they can be independent examples as they grow up. We must teach our children with love and healthy discipline. Also, when developing in the home, parents must support and work together in order to establish harmony. "By the time your kids are teenagers, your relationship is your only influence in teaching". Thanks for reading!