In Closing

To sum up this class and all of the valuable insights taught, I'm going to list the top 10 things I have learned. I am listing them in hopes that you can better understand the purpose of this blog and the family!

1. Family Genogram- This was one of my favorite lessons, because the project took time and required a lot of thought. The connections I drew between my family members really opened my eyes to possible cultures I wanted to change in my future family. Observing the patterns in relationships of past generations made me humble to changing my attitude towards my dad. I didn’t want to continue the pattern of damaged father-daughter bond.
2. Learning the Family Theories- Exploring the following theories: system, exchange, symbolic, and conflict, opened my eyes to why people may react how they do. The speculations allowed me to make sense of things and really understand them. In any relationship, it is key to have communication and stay on the same page, and the systems helped me to recognize that.
3. The Pros and Cons of Social Class Placement- Listing off what makes someone obtain their status was super interesting to me, because it analyzed that the same factors could be used to increase someone’s class or decrease it. Along with the status, I liked learning about how different family cultures could be because of class. The videos we watched on specific people’s lives were super interesting and helped me to see different people have struggles that I never could have imagined.
4. Seeking Intimate Relationships- The chapter addresses the myth of "opposites attract", and states that we are actually more likely to naturally start dating people who has similar attitudes, values, and personalities. The mannerisms that are familiar to us create "propinquity". This term means a nearness in space. Additional connections people have to one another are founded on: spirituality, location, IQ, values, appearance, and how accessible they are. I loved learning all of the different qualities and criteria we look for.
5. Defining love- I loved defining love. It was so interesting to look at the different types of love and applying them to the relationships in my life. Along with this we described the qualities of friendship. Overall this was just a really interesting class with lots of insight on how we feel about people.
6. The different stages of relationships- Dating, Courtship, Engagement, and Marriage. Defining each one totally opened my eyes to how serious each step is. When we were discussing the importance of engagement and how big of an opportunity for the couple it is, It really helped me understand. Also I got to look back on my sister’s marriage and understand the way their courting went.
7. Task Vs. Relationship- The entire topic of defining men and women was so interesting to me. I loved analyzing how females and males differ. The roles of parents and of gender became a lot more clear to me following this class.
8. Difference After Childbirth- Learning about the challenges within a marriage after childbirth, I feel, has really helped prepare me the most. Knowing what is likely to happen and how to deal with it is more beneficial than I could ever imagine.
9. Intimacy- I have to admit that this topic was uncomfortable for me at first, but understanding it has so many benefits. When I get married I will better be able to understand my spouse and that Is a huge comfort to me.
10. Family Structure is everything- I learned that in every lesson we had, there was family structure involved. Not matter what we were discussing, the  family was a part of it, and I think that is why it is so important that we treat our families with love and compassion. We often get caught up in the world, and this class opened my eyes to having a loving heart.

This semester has been such a wonderful learning experience. Not only did I get to analyze my past history, but I got to learn how to prepare now for my future! I hope you enjoyed the blogs! Thank You!

Parenting & Discipline

What are the benefits of parents raising their children?
For the parents

• Learn
• Grow
• w/ child via needs
• Better Understand Self
• Bonding/ Attachment
• Adaptive
• Commitment

For the child

• More in Common
• Accepting
• Longevity
• Deeper Love
• Better Disciplined (more effective)
• Compassion

My teacher told us something very wise, "children are learning EVERYDAY". He also discussed the purposes of raising children: 1. Preparing them to survive and thrive in the world and 2. To protect them. There is a definite difference in discipline vs. punishment. When talking about discipline, it is important to link it to choice and consequences. Through this accountability, children gain the ability to respond to situations. Punishments can be more focused on negatively reacting to the mistakes kids make versus how to grow from them. Also, sometimes it is important for parents to allow "Natural consequences" happen to their children. Natural consequences can be very beneficial; however, here are three examples of when parents should intervene:

1. It is too dangerous- child would be unsafe
2. "Too Future"- allowing child to make decisions that aren't completely life forming or changing
3. Others are affected

Effective parent behavior towards children includes:

•  A polite and sincere request
• An "I" statement
• "When you..."
• "I feel..."
• "because..."
• "I would like..."
• A firmer statement (create understanding& turning situation around)

One of the most important things I learned from this chapter was that children and everyone need two things... Contact and Belonging. Any lack of these two things for a child within the home or in general could result in a mistaken approach to receive these:

• Undue attention seeking
• Revenge seeking
• Rebellion
• Undue risk taking
• Undue avoidance

It is so important to teach children assertiveness and forgiveness in the home, so that they can be independent examples as they grow up. We must teach our children with love and healthy discipline. Also, when developing in the home, parents must support and work together in order to establish harmony. "By the time your kids are teenagers, your relationship is your only influence in teaching". Thanks for reading!